TV SHOWS OF THE FUTURE

These are my predictions of Television shows that may air in the not too distant future. Alway looking to break new ground, I think these shows may be exactly what TV execs will promote.



1) LONG DISTANCE

Every week our moderator talks "live" to real dead people to solve past mysteries, crimes, and incidents involving these people. On this weeks program we will try to reach "Jack the Ripper" to find his true identity. Be sure to tune in, along with the British Royal Family, as we try to finally end the controversy over his identity. We are sponsored this week by Benihana.

2) AXE MY EX

Each week a different man, woman, or anything in between targets their former marriage partner for assassination. They get to choose their preferred method of execution. This week Elsa, Gwen, and Annie decide their bigamist ex-husband should be buried alive under a dump truck load of bull manure. They state that this is for all the "BS" they had to endure during their marriages to this man. This weeks program is sponsored by the city of Pamplona, Spain.

3) GOVERNMENT CHEATERS

We receive letters and emails from across the country nominating a local, state, or U.S. officeholder for surveillance, confrontation, and impeachment. We pick one out and dispatch a film crew to catch this person in the act. This week we air an episode where we go after a Western U.S. Senator and impeach him for an earmark to a jobs bill which allowed his hometown to build a sexual fantasyland called "Rawhide" in this Senator's hometown. The sponsor for this weeks show is Dream Leather.

4) The 100 Gazillion Dollar Bailout

This weekly gameshow involves Fortune 500 companies competing for the grand prize of a 100 gazillion dollar bailout. Folks at home can also enter the Rocketing Inflation Homegame. As these bailouts are paid out, gigantic inflation increases are registered on the Inflationmeter. A home contestant sends in a number and if it matches the final Inflationmeter reading after the last bailout, the home contestant wins $10 million dollars (worth about fifty cents before taxes in today's money). Our sponsors this week are Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

5. MEET THE ALIENS

Every week 2 people are chosen to visit an alien planet to be studied by the inhabitants. Emma Peabody and Stu Mitchell were selected by the ambassador from Alpha Centauri 6, and, after arriving at Area 51, they were transported to that planet. After an enjoyable week with the Centaurions, Emma's only complaint was the moving of something big in her abdomen. Stu, on the other hand, was fine except for a sharp pain when he sat down. He did mention something about a probe that was misplaced by an Alpha Centaurion college students. This show is sponsored by Orbitz.